Coming Out To Wife And Kids Strengthens Man’s Family.

i'm from riverside, ca. by rick clemons

At the age of 19, Rick Clemons came out of the closet. After soon realizing it wasn’t the right time for him, he went back into the closet for 19 more years. Rick explains:

I was not strong enough in myself at that point in time in my life to be who I really wanted to be. And now that I can sit and reflect back on that, it was all for a very powerful purpose.

That powerful purpose being getting married and having two kids. After a work trip to London, though, an event took place that sparked the next chapter of Rick’s life.

I went out to the gay bars for the first time, by myself. This absolutely handsome lovely Brit walked up to me and started conversation. Within four hours we did end up back at his hotel. I remember walking out of the lovely hotel he was staying at, I was so messed up in a beautiful way because the sun was brighter, the thoughts I had were clearer, the gait in my step was just so powerful.

Upon arriving back home to California, Rick knew it was time to start living an open and honest life and come out a second time, this time to his wife and two daughters. The decision wasn’t just best for him, but for those closest to him as well.

At the end of the day, the truth comes down to what’s good for you, what’s going to make you the best possible person you can be in your own life, because when that happens, you can be the best possible person you need to be for other people in their lives.

Continue Reading to watch Rick’s story.

NOTE: Rick has used his unique personal story to help others. As The Coming Out Coach, he helps teens and adults come out when the time is right for them.

TRANSCRIPT:

I’m Rick Clemens and I’m from Riverside, California. I was 38 years old when I came out of the closet for the second time. The first time I actually came out of the closet I was 19. I went off to college and I’d always had these inner rumblings I guess that would be the best way to describe it, I knew I was different. Totally different. I was not strong enough in myself at that point in time in my life to be who I really wanted to be. And now that I can sit and reflect back on that, it was all for a very powerful purpose.

Literally within the year that I graduated I had this beautiful loving woman who would become my wife, came into my life. There was a deep soul connection, deep deep, even to this day, still deep. I realized ooh, I’ll do this, I’ll make this work. I was pretending. And at 38 years old suddenly things began to unravel. I traveled for work a lot. That’s part of how I stepped out of my shell and became the other person that I was. It was easy to be in New York or London or wherever, who was going to know what’s going on. Until one night in London, I went out to the gay bars for the first time, by myself. This absolutely handsome lovely Brit walked up to me and started conversation. Within four hours we did end up back at his hotel. I remember walking out of the lovely hotel he was staying at, I was so messed up in a beautiful way because the sun was brighter, the thoughts I had were clearer, the gait in my step was just so powerful. Two days later we both left. I got on a plane from London to LAX. I got off that plane and called my wife and said “I’m down, and I’ll be home soon, and as soon as I get home we’ve gotta talk.”

My youngest was nine months old. My oldest was three and a half. I told her, I said, “I’m gay, and I met somebody.” The reaction immediately was shock, anger. I always laugh when I say this part it’s not because it was funny but it is kinda ironic the thing I thought she would be most upset about was me being gay. It wasn’t. She was pissed off that I had cheated on her. I left within twenty-four hours. I was about to not be a father. I was about to not be a husband. I was about to be everything I’d always wanted to be which was myself, but yet I was about to leave everything I’d thought I was supposed to be. I did leave, we had our issues and our trials and tribulations through it all. As I finally started to get through this and as the years started to roll by, the calmness started to come over our family unit.

At the end of the day, the truth comes down to what’s good for you, what’s going to make you the best possible person you can be in your own life, because when that happens, you can be the best possible person you need to be for other people in their lives. I know today, because of that, that’s why I’m blessed to have a still beautiful relationship with my ex-wife. That’s why today, since I’ve come out of the closet, there’s been very few days that I haven’t got to see my kids. And I know that today, that’s why I’m still alive, because I wasn’t meant to come out at 19, I was meant to come out at 38. I was meant to do this at a time when it was time for me to be going through this experience. It was happening because this is what was meant to happen.

4 Comments:

  1. This story actually makes me sick. It is ok to cheat because you want dick? You didn’t have the balls, so for years you took those “you love” on some mirage of a life? Let’s not paint a hero here. This is a man that injured people very deeply. He is not a hero. He is disgusting, selfish, and dangerous.

    By the way, I am gay. I am not homophobic. I just happen to believe in commitment and vows and actually following through with what you committed to. You got married and realized you liked a little dick? Too bad. You chose a wife. You waited until you had kids, TWO, and then wanted to drop the bomb? Obviously, you were able to shoot a load or two to create those beautiful children. You chose your life, you should have had the fucking balls to stand by it.

    I’m really effing tired of people thinking that their preference has a right to override their commitment. HOW SELFISH. If you are gay, be gay. Just don’t damage people along the way with your little charades. AND IF YOU DO PLAY A CHARADE… you need to stick it thru, get help and figure it out WITHTOUT damaging your family!!!! SO FUCKING SICK of SELF being more important than FAMILY!!!

    Signed,
    gay dude that strongly believes in FAMILY!

    • To Tyler: you, my friend, are the worse kind of judgemental piece of shit. Many of us who marry before truly understanding who we really are find ourselves in these types of situations. I came out at 38 as well. I’m staying with my wife and we’ve both chosen to open each side of our marriage to allow us to accommodate our sexuality. She and I are still very intimate and we love each other very much. When people like you strike up these judgements about people and experiences you’ve never experienced yourself, you’re no better than the homophobes out there that try and put the LGBTQ community down for being who they are. People are people and everyone is fighting for the battle of their life. Be kind whenever possible…it’s always possible.

  2. To Tyler: Sure your gay but does that give you the right to tell him what he did wrong? You are the one that makes me sick. Obviously you haven’t been in his shoes, you don’t know what family is like, nor having one. You think about yourself. I’m gay, I put my family first but it kills me that they don’t know, they are homophobic. You think that he is cheating? A relationship begins with no lies, what he did is something I don’t even think you would ever do, instead you would let it go by until you die. I give you my word for that, and honestly his ex-wife and he himself have a beautiful relationship. I have seen many people coming out of there closet, and they were married. Who the hell are you to tell someone family is first? Family can mean a lot of things. I want to see you eat yourself up just hiding away a big secret, a big lie away from your wife. It’s literally saying you fucked a guy and now notice that your straight, what would you do then. Honestly your dragging shit out of your ass without even thinking about it. I give more props to him than your weak ass.

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