I’m From Nashville, TN.

by alex g.

My first kiss wasn’t on my fifteenth birthday. It wasn’t with my girlfriend in my bed. It was on the last day of Reading Buddies in second grade.

I was partnered with a first grader, and I can’t remember her name now. We were all saying our goodbyes, and I felt this overwhelming want. I didn’t know that it was wrong, that it was taboo or abnormal. I had always been an affectionate child. All I knew was, I really, really wanted to kiss her. She was adorable, from what I remember. Blond hair, a big bow, a happy laugh. I pulled her over to the side, both of us giggling. Then I leaned down, and kissed her. I don’t think anyone saw, we were out of the line of vision of the PTA crowd. Later, circa third grade, my next door neighbor and I played doctor (with my new doctor set). I was listening to her heartbeat, and I wrapped my fingers around the tiny stethoscope to feel her pre-pubescent breast. She pushed me away and called me a word that I had never heard, and didn’t know what it meant.

“What’s lesbian?”

“When a girl wants to kiss another girl. It’s a sin.”

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