Today’s Video Story was collected on the 50-state Story Tour. Check out the blog where you can follow us on our adventure. If you haven’t submitted a story yet to IFD, or if you want to submit another one, I’d love to read and publish it. Write one up and send it in.
I’m Sandy Davis, from Oswego, New York. I was thinking as I was coming here that when I was in high school I didn’t fit in very well and I couldn’t figure out really why I thought maybe it was cause I didn’t do small talk very well or I just wasn’t pretty enough. I truly didn’t get it figured out that I just wasn’t into the go have ice cream and mingle, guys and girls. When I was in my senior year in college I met another woman who became my partner for about 5 years and we still kept dating guys – it was just “Okay this is a phase.” (laughter) I guess I got pretty angry during that stage of my life and that would have been in my 20’s, because other people could walk hand in hand going down the street – simple stuff. But I realized that I was really angry, when we had come back to our apartment one evening and there was car parked with a guy and girl in it and they were making out at the end of a dead end street or road really which was were our upstairs apartment was and I was just livid and it was one of those aha moments. This just isn’t working or somehow I’m not a part of things. And I said, I got to find people like me. At that stage, that would have been in the 70’s, there was basically nothing but bars and that didn’t really work very well for me cause I don’t drink, I couldn’t play pool and I didn’t smoke. And they were smoking, they were dark, and you had to know how to play pool in order to get anywhere I guess. I was totally afraid and pretty much – you know, for us growing up it was “We’re not good enough.” So when you see a gathering place that is ugly and you know, hidden away it doesn’t help your self concept any, I don’t think. I do remember also though – there were three former students in that bar. My former students. And two of them came up to me and the third, I went up to her. So, there was a tremendous freeing, I think – even though I thought “uhg.” I don’t think I got a whole huge lot of pride out of having been able to go there but I did get relief and a feeling that there honest to goodness was community out there and it was okay, I could belong there.