I’m From Black Rock City, NV – Video Story.

by kevin farrell

Today’s Video Story was collected on the 50-state Story Tour. Check out the blog where you can follow us on our adventure. If you haven’t submitted a story yet to IFD, or if you want to submit another one, I’d love to read and publish it. Write one up and send it in.

My name’s Kevin Farrell and I’m from Black Rock City, Nevada. I grew up a foster kid and lived everywhere. And Black Rock City, where Burning Man happens, is the first place I ever really felt like home. And it’s the first place I ever really felt like myself. It’s ironic because at Burning Man you don’t even use your real name. So your first year that you’re there someone give you your “playa” name, and I had tripped over this piece of rebar and it got stuck in my calf and it was disgusting and pussy – so someone named me Stab Wound my first year, and it wasn’t until I heard that name “Stab Wound” that I just felt such confidence, such bravery in my life which is so weird and in addition to finding myself I found my soon to be husband there. We’re are at this super gay dance club, out doors, called Pink Mammoth, and its just pink, and there’s pink ribbons, and people in pink, and if you’re not wearing pink, they will come and crucify you, and spray paint pink on you, and you just better be in pink. And my friends and I while were there, were playing this game – Your Team, My Team – you see someone you liked, “ooh my team.” You see someone you didn’t like “your team.” And I saw this guy across the dance floor, dust is blowing and everyone is half naked and I see this guy in a red bandanna and a gauze loin cloth, and I turned to my friend and I said, “Ooh, my team. Captain of my team.” And I just marched right up to him, cause at Burning Man that’s what you’re supposed to do, you’re supposed to talk to everyone that you want to, you are so brave while you are there, and I walked right up to him and tapped him on the shoulder and said, “I’m such a fan.” And we both just started cracking up laughing – and we laughed and we laughed and we laughed. A couple minutes later maybe, this other guy walked up to us and said, “Oh, so you’ve met my boyfriend, today’s actually our one year anniversary. And I was just like “Uh, man.” But I just puffed myself back up again and said, “Do you guys want to go on a date tonight?” And my, Nick, my guy, said, “Yes!” Just in a heartbeat. And his boyfriend at the time said, “Weren’t you listening, I said, today is our anniversary.” And I said, “Weren’t you listening? Do you guys want to go on a date tonight?” And Nick again was like, “Yes, yes, we do!” And so, his boyfriend said yes as well. So I didn’t even know what the hell I was doing, I knew I liked this guy, so we walked a scale model of the solar system for our very first date. We started at the sun and it was about the size of this room, it was humongous, it was like thirty feet in diameter and it was lit up like a giant ball of fire and incrementally for about 3 miles out into the desert there was another planet and they were lit up, and so for eight hours we just walked the solar system. We started the sun, and ended up with Pluto at sunrise, and just laying underneath of it, under all of these little planets – I just stopped at each one and talked. It was fantastic, and beautiful, and I just knew that was it, that was it right there. So I left Burning Man, I got back to Seattle and wrote him a love letter, cause we had gotten each others email addresses and a week in half later – he was here. And he and his boyfriend at the time ended up, breaking up, and feelings were hurt at the time but, you know, a year later we’ve seen each other, made amends, and everything is good. He’s just obviously, the person for me, and I found him in the place, where I am my most authentic self, and so it’s no wonder that I attracted the exact perfect match for myself there. And they call it manifesting at Burning Man – put it out there, put out what you’re looking for and it comes back to you.

6 Comments:

  1. Up to this point I have found these videos to be heart warming, interesting and often inspiring. I find this one to be sad and a little smarmy.

    The two guys found love and that’s great, I hope everyone finds their one love if that is what their searching for. But this train wrech of a story is only a fraction of what went on and the viewer can only wonder what happen to the poor fellow who was on his anniversary date. Did all end so happy for him? One would think everything came up roses.

    I have been gay for too long not to have seen this selfish behavior in the gay community before but does it have to be broadcast/videoed for mass consumption? This was not heart warming nor inspiring. It was interesting but in the same way a car crash can be.

  2. Tony, being gay doesn’t mean you have to be perfect. Shallow moments can hit any of us and believe me, it does occur in all orientations. They were quite young, it doesn’t sound like he ravished the guy in front of his soon to be ex, and honestly, if the existing relationship was that easy to break up there wasn’t all that much there anyway. It sounds like they have been together for some time now and are in a committed relationship. I don’t know if this story hits some buried scar tissue for you or what, but really, cut the guy a little slack.

  3. The first and only point should be “the existing relationship” of which the other partner thought well enough of to mention twice to the interviewee, along with telling him about the anniversary. Whatever ground the existing relationship stood on should not matter. The two in the existing relationship should settle matters amongst themselves. If it ends it ends, everyone moves on. But when you have someone intruding and pushing their own agenda, well that’s just tacky. This guy did have an agenda. He saw what he wanted and he took it, not that people are property but he metaphor works.

    This has never happened to me I am just uncomfortable giving this kind of story this type of platform. I know gay people have all the same crappy relationship stuff that straight people do but there are several hate groups out there doing a really good job of broadcasting all of our ugly stuff without our help. This speaks to character and I find it lacking. Sandi, your response makes way too many excuses for inexcuseable behavior.

    And yes I will cut the guy some slack he got exactly what he wanted. Bravo for him!

  4. You know, I think it’s actually fine to criticize him. I don’t know that I’d personally be moved to be offended by what he did, but I don’t really feel the need to come to his defense, either. Someone absolutely got hurt, and that sucks. But assume Kevin and his fiance are together for the rest of their lives — should Kevin not have pursued the eventual love of his life so that a relationship that was doomed to fail anyway was given time to do it more gracefully?

    Maybe we could say he should show more compassion or whatever for the guy his fiance was dating, but then I guess we’d be making assumptions about how much compassion he actually felt.

    But anyway, all I really wanted to say was that stories like these totally should be broadcast. They don’t show superficiality, they show reality. These things happen in any relationship dynamic, like Sandi said. If the gay community only broadcasts 100% positive stories, we’re putting out a very sterilized version of our lives.

  5. “If the gay community only broadcasts 100% positive stories, we’re putting out a very sterilized version of our lives.” – Rafi

    Exactly. And portraying the gay community as perfect only gives the haters more ammo when it turns out the gays are in fact just as imperfect and normal in that imperfection as any straight person. I’m not making excuses for what he did, and I know someone was hurt, I’ve been that someone. However, from my currently ancient (jk, I’m 54) point of view…he was young. Shit happens. That’s never going to change. It is ridiculous to hold one person, young or old, up to public castigation and say that s/he is making everyone else look bad. The only one that can make you look bad is you.

  6. Oh. My. God. This drugged-out piece of trash breaks up a couple (and seems to be proud of it) and we’re supposed to swoon and act like it’s a beautiful love story? I guess we should be thankful this was posted so we can see the human garbage we have in our community. Let’s all be thankful this is an exception, and hope there is karma in the universe for people like this.

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