I’m From Lewiston, ID.

by rocky buruse

You would think that by having a younger brother that came out before me, my coming out would be 100 times easier because the family had already dealt with it once so it wouldn’t be too tough on them. I was right on one point… it was easier for me to come out but not so easy for my parents to accept it. Thank god for friends. The night I decided to tell my father I was gay was my 22nd birthday.

It started out typical, him and I talking and then me finally deciding that some time during the night that I would have to come clean and just be honest that I was gay and that I couldn’t hide it anymore. Sounds easy right, just say the words, “I am gay.” I am going to be honest, those words are the toughest thing I ever told my family but the relief I got from telling him was so amazing that I still wonder why I didn’t do it sooner.

Thai food is amazing and that is where I wanted to go for my dinner with Dad. He was pointing out every girl in the restaurant and asking me what I thought of her rack and how I should go ask for her number but I kept telling him I wasn’t really looking. Afterwards, we went to my favorite sports bar for pool and drinks. I had been texting my friends and anyone else I could possibly think of to try to get the courage to do the one thing that I was more afraid to do than anything else. I finally got a call from my closest friend telling me that he had faith in me and if anything happened, he and all of the rest of my friends would be there for me instantly. Never cried more in my life than hearing those words. I finally got the courage up to do it after a shot of tequila and my dad was in shock. Plenty of anger, tons of hurt and a lot of misunderstanding, he sat there in shock for a while and I finally had to tell him that I was still me just a part of me had to finally be accepted by the rest of me. We talked for a bit longer and I had to explain it wasn’t his fault and it wasn’t my choice but I did manage to get a hug from him when I got out of his truck that night.

If anyone can be hard to talk to it is the big redneck dad with the huge truck and a gun case that rivals that of a small army. I know that it didn’t end perfectly but I also know that by being able to tell him, that I was able to move on with my life. Right now, I am 5 weeks away from a major move to Denver with plans to open my own bar, and plan to try to help people like my friends do for me. I still don’t know what I would do without my friends on Connexion.org. The place has literally saved my life a few times.

2 Comments:

  1. Well done. Rocky. Telling folks is tough but I’m sure your even stronger for it. Thanks for sharing.

  2. My Dad died before I could tell him. He will be fine Rocky. Just give him time. You move to Denver and be the best you can be. He is proud of you and will be more proud in the future. My best to you, rod-

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