I’m From Kiel, Schleswig-Holstein, Germany.

by Nils Spehr

Google Earth Satellite Image of Germany

I was sixteen when my parents decided to move to another city about 600km from where we were living then. My father got a new job so it was a necessity for us to go there if we wanted to see him more than once every couple of months. About a month before we moved I came out to my best friend which worked out really well. Even though he pretended to be straight I had my first kiss and first time with him. Now I was going to be taken away from him and the strength I found when I finally found someone to talk to about my real self.

A couple of weeks after the move my aunt and grandmother came to visit for a few days so my mum and I had to share her bedroom so they could use mine. I didn’t think much of it since I’ve always been very close to my mum. One day I was taking a shower and when I stepped out of the bathroom, which was directly connected to her bedroom, she asked me when I was going to tell her that I’m gay. I was really relieved that she asked because I tried so hard to tell her but the words would never come out. That night we talked a lot and I told her everything about me and that best friend of mine.

The morning after that we were having breakfast when suddenly my mum came in and said “FYI, Nils is gay. If anyone has a problem with that he’ll have to deal with me”. At that moment I felt as if the weight of the world was taken from my shoulders, that suddenly I could breathe more easily – I felt that I had become the real me.

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