When I told my partner Crystal that I wanted to have a baby, she had a lot of concerns. I did too, but for me, the reasons to have a baby finally outweighed the reasons not to. One of her worries was that our child would be treated differently because we’re lesbians. That worried me too, but kids get teased for a lot of things and I do believe that whatever teasing comes our son’s way, we’ll be able to help him through it. We both worried that we would be treated differently as a family.
We’re now three years into our parenting adventure and for the most part, we don’t even think about how we’re different from other families. We don’t often think about how we’re like other families either. All families are different and being in the middle of raising a child, we just don’t take in the big picture similarities and differences very often.
Last summer our day care family (pre-toddler, toddler and preschool rooms) met at a sprayground park near the center on a Friday afternoon. Crystal and I spent a couple of hours taking turns chasing our son around the park and talking to other parents. We cooled off in the shade, snacking on string cheese and juice with his friends. We took a short walk on the nearby bike trail with another family. We watched as the kids ran through the cold water, screaming on a hot day. One of his classmates was absolutely transformed by the water from a quiet, shy child to a bouncy, bubbly kid. It was an idyllic afternoon and I hope it happens again this summer.
At some point in the middle of all the chaos I stopped for a moment and thought, “we’re the only two mom family here, but right now that just doesn’t matter.” Every family was enjoying the sun, water and spending time with friends. For those two hours it didn’t matter which family had two moms, an adopted child or divorced parents. It was a moment of clarity for me that even though our family is different, there are so many other ways that we’re a family just like any other.