I work for a traveling theatre company and it is very hard for me to meet someone while I am on the road. Every week I am in a different location and I can not be out on the job, which is no big deal, and sad to say, safer in small towns. I have been working for this job for 16 months. Within the first 6 months my first long-term boyfriend, and first love, broke up with me twice. I was absolutely broken, I found myself being miserable because so many things reminded me of him.

Well it took another 7 months to finally move past this pain and not feel sad when I thought of him. Then I was at home where I am kind of out–all of my family knows that I am gay and some of my friends. My traveling theatre company was here for two weeks, I wasn’t looking for anyone just hanging out with friends and the usual 20’s thing. Then it happened. I met a very cute, very nice boy at a bar. Who would have thought I could find a date in a bar in a small town in Ohio?

After hanging out at the bar, we went out to eat where we held hands and he let me lean my head up against him as I napped on his shoulder. He dropped me and my friend off at my friend’s car and we had our goodbye kiss, then I asked him out to the movies on Sunday. He said YES! I was so excited this would be my first date since my big break-up.

Sunday, we went on our date to the movies, and after a cute movie with hand holding we went to the park and walked through the park hand in hand under the stars. A truly romantic evening. We had a few more dates just like this before I had to leave town with work again, and all these dates were sweet and never going further than a nice goodnight kiss. I was so torn about having to leave him, the first guy I felt a real connection with in a long time.

I went back on tour, still texting him and talking to him every day for a month. He seemed really excited that I would be coming home soon. Then on the day I find out the exact date I am coming home, I tell him right away, so excited to know when I would get to see him again. He then tells me he wanted me to know that he has kind of started to see someone else.

I mean I was a little hurt, but I knew there was nothing I could do since I am hundreds of miles away and not there in person. He still wanted to be friends and didn’t want me to come home expecting something, and then really shock me. So I think it’s good to be friends. He is a really nice guy and I enjoyed spending time with him.

Now what was strange was the number of messages I was getting from him. They went from maybe one a day to three or four a day, everyday. It was like nothing had changed. In fact it was like things were improving.

Well I came home, he would visit me at work and I would visit him at work. We went out to the movies and to the park for a picnic. It was all the same as before but without holding hands or the goodnight kiss. While we are out getting ready for our picnic he gets messages from his current guy (who he always refers to as his “one friend”).

He proceeds to tell me his friend is mean all the time, drama drama drama, needs to be knocked down a peg, and is acting like a douche. I listen to this and say that, yeah, men suck, haha, I always say I should go back to women. He laughs. He then said that’s what I like so much about you. You’re always nice. The next time I see him he tells me he can tell that I am caring and I care for people and it’s a good quality in me.

So wait… I am nice and he likes spending time with me, but he would rather date someone who is over-dramatic and mean and a douchebag. This whole ordeal has just reinforced the fact that as a nice guy I’m going to be finishing last. And also that I am just going to be lonely as I finish the next 12 months on my contract bouncing from place to place with no one to come home to.