Nathan:

All right. Welcome to this week’s story update. This week, we are speaking with Mathias Oliver, who we filmed and Spokane, Washington all the way back in –  it was the fall of 2010. Let’s take a look at his story.

 

Ronnie: 

I’m Ronnie Oliver,

 

Mathias: 

I’m a Mathias Oliver

 

Reagan:

I’m Reagan Mathias, and we are the Mathias family from Spokane Washington.

 

Ronnie: 

Yes.

 

Reagan: 

So, um, we’ve been working really hard on helping Mathias, our son, who’s 15. And he came out when he was 12 and we’ve been trying to –

 

Ronnie: 

Well, 11 officially.

 

Reagan: 

Well, that’s right. Eleven. I stand corrected. And so one day, Mathias, I think just finally had the courage or just felt inspired to share that with both of us. And so he came down to talk to us. And what ended up happening was he – he couldn’t actually articulate it. He needed  to…  he wrote it down on a little scratch paper and handed it to his dad.

 

Ronny: 

Right. Yeah. I’ve always told him that he could talk to us about anything, especially me, but I think for what he had to say, he was a little bit apprehensive, but once he kind of gave me the note, you know, I wanted to reassure him that, you know, no matter what, whether he’s gay, African-American tall, short, slim, larger, you know, he’s my son and I love him and I would want to support him no matter what he does.

 

Mathias: 

We had some difficult issues with some of the kids and just sort of the environment at school and think that I had these two beautiful, wonderful people to come home to. The main concerns were just with. Some of the dialogue that was said about me… “homo”… and they usually didn’t use this word, but “fag”… and just not nice words at all. And the fact that they were – that they were even thought of being used to project on me, even though they didn’t even know me was scary enough, but that they were taking time out of their day to just totally ruin mine. So I just – I wanted to nip that in the bud as soon as possible, not just for me, but for anyone else coming to school,

 

Ronny: 

The type of language that has been – bombarded him as he goes to school and walk down the street… I’ll just tell you a situation. One day he came home and he said some kids were giving him a hard time, calling him some names. He and a friend were walking home and I don’t know if this was the time that the kids spit at him or something like that, but he came home and told us. And soon as I heard what he said, I told my wife, I’m like, “Let’s go. We’re going to go talk to those kids and, and, and, and find out who’s doing this and why they’re doing that.”

 

Mathias: 

This was a separate incident from the spitting thing.

 

Ronnie: 

Okay.

 

Mathias: 

And I’d actually been coming home form this thing called “bench practice”. And it’s just kind of like a student version of cheerleading. We get together, we do routines and dress up this big church bench and make everything all cool and stuff.

 

Ronnie: 

Spirit rally in a sense?

 

Mathias: 

Yes. And we’d been walking home and they were like, I don’t think that they might’ve been thinking straight ‘cause my friend, she said that she could see a wine bottle in there and they’d been smoking. So I’m going to guess that they were a little friendly when it came to the drinking so… it was kind of scary because they’d – they specifically said to my friend Aubrey, they called her a “booty ho,” which doesn’t even make sense to me, but okay.

 

And they had said, and I believe this was from one of the African Americans that was in the car at the time, he had said that I was a disgrace to all black people. And I was just like, okay, well, I’m just… blow them off and we came home and, as my father pointed out, he kinda went off “Father Commando Mode” and wanted to punch people in the face.

 

Ronny: 

I went out there and talked to the kids and found out in fact, two of the kids were football players on the team. And after I kind of talked to them a little bit, I said, “Just listen, man. My son is a freshman, you know, he’s kind of new to the school. He’s kind of used to – not used to what’s going on. Can you guys kind of look out for him and make sure he’s okay?”

 

He said, “Yes, no problem.” You know, it was just as simple as that, just talking to the kids. So that just shows that, you know, there’s so many kids out there willing to help. All you have to do is sometimes it’s just, just talk to them and say something. So it just made me feel so much better. My son was still embarrassed, but I told him I wouldn’t do that again. I learned my lesson, but you know, that, that, I think that’s a growing process for us as parents to learn what to do and what not to do. So I learned my lesson.

 

Nathan: 

Okay, welcome Matthias! How are you?

 

Mathias: 

I’m doing really, really well. It’s good to see you and the whole team again, really happy to be here.

 

Nathan: 

Good. Well, thanks for joining us. So when we got your story, that was 10 years ago, you were a, I believe a sophomore in high school. And you were living with your parents in Spokane, Washington. And so can you kind of give us a little update on where your life is?

 

Mathias:

Okay. Yeah. Well, I graduated. Surprise! And then after I went, after I left university, I ended up at Whitworth University and graduated with a bachelor of fine arts in theater.

 

So moved out of my parents’ house and now I live 10 minutes away from them in a charming little shoe box apartment that I call the Rabbit Hole. It’s very lovely, partially underground, and I’m very happy there. I’m currently in pursuit of my professional career in acting and was about ready to head out to Spokane and then COVID hit. So my plans got a little derailed there, but thankfully I ended up at a really wonderful nonprofit. I get to help people all throughout the day and then go home and continue – continue my art with fellow artists here in Spokane. So, very happy.

 

Nathan: 

Wow. It sounds like you fell right into exactly, you know, your – your niche and like what you really want to focus on. That’s great.

You were a sophomore when we filmed you and your story really touched a lot on bullying. You know, you still had two and a half years left of high school. Did you have any more experiences of bullying or did you have any like confrontations or fraternities to stand up to bullies or, you know, how did the rest of your high school turn out  in that regard?

 

Mathias: 

Junior year is when it got really bad because I was still kind of getting out of my awkward phase and I was trying things out and different hairstyles, different clothing things, and some of them worked, some of them really didn’t and people really – I shouldn’t say people, but individuals at school were very vocal about, you know, me trying to express myself in different ways Thankfully, it was nothing physical. And there was definitely a support system there for me, both at home and at school where I could talk to someone if it had ever gotten to that point.

Senior year is when I really hit my stride. I really got everything together. And people, by then, people had kind of grown up and figured out, “Eh. Let people live. Let people live.” So when I left, I was in a much, much better place from where, from when I had entered and so I was very thankful for that.

 

Nathan:  

I’m so glad. So we have a – your parents were in your story with you and I have a comment from your YouTube video that I want to – I’m going to read real quick. It says, “Most awesome parents ever. I just want to give them both a great big hug. Do they even realize how much strength they’re giving their son? You can see it in how happy and loved he is.” So I’m wondering how – how are your parents doing right now?

 

Mathias: 

They’re… they’re doing wonderful. They both say hello to you because they miss you terribly.  And so my parents were divorced now and they found since then I’ve found other partners that make them very, very happy. My mom’s still in Spokane, working for the US marshals fighting bad guys. And then my dad’s over in Idaho and I get to see him every once in a while. But they’re both – they’re both very happy where they are and we talk regularly and life is really good with them.

 

Nathan: 

You know,  that story tour that we were on when we first met you and your family. It was like right in the middle of the tour. We were two months in and we… staying there with all of you is one of the highlights of the tour because just for so many reasons, it was so nice to be in a loving home. And, you know, my brother and I joked, we were like, “Oh my God, an Xbox, we can play games!”

 

And then like, we woke up the next morning and your mom had made this – or one of your parents had made this breakfast casserole with a nice sweet note and like a cover of the Spokane Times or something that had us in it. And it was just like the, really just, you know, a lot of places felt like a home away from home, and we have such a beautiful memory of all of you and spoken and it’s… it’s so good to see you again.

 

So I want to get back to your story – it touched a lot on bullying. What advice would you have for someone who is a sophomore right now, or in high school, and they’re experiencing some of the bullying, like similar to what you experienced, what would you tell them?

 

Mathias: 

Hmm. That’s really, really great question. And kind of coming just from my personal perspective, both a sophomore in high school and also kind of as a performer, no good story has… no good story is without adversity and it’s not very comforting to say, you know, you are going to go through hard times, but it is unfortunately a reality.

 

But what I found is that, in a way, I have to thank those people because if it hadn’t been for them, I wouldn’t have learned to be able to differentiate compassion and cruelty, you know, and being able to identify what I want from myself as a person. You know, it would have been very easy for me to be jaded and, you know, venomous towards those people, But then at the end of the day, that doesn’t benefit me, that certainly doesn’t benefit them. So what’s the point?

And I learned to become what I want to see in the world. And so one of the biggest things that I would probably tell another little Matthias Oliver and in sophomore year of high school is that you are going to go through hard times, but you know, only you can control the outcome of it. And find, find those people – find those support – the supportive individuals in your life that make, you know, make the sun peek through the clouds. It can be sometimes hard, but I guarantee you, they are there and they are willing to support you if you’re willing to… to ask for help.

 

Nathan: 

Wow, that’s… that’s beautiful. It’s so good to hear how you have, you know, developed from that and, you know, grown and, and it’s so clear in how you were raised in it. And it’s just, you know, now you’re you and you have all these tools available to you, and it’s just beautiful to see.

 

What else do you want to share? Or, you know, what else has been going on in your life that you – that’s important to you that you want to share with the  community?

 

Mathias: 

Oh, gosh. Well, in light of what has been happening with George Floyd and a lot of sort of society-on-black violence, I have sort of been taking a much more active role in… in the theatrical community. I’m going to be directing and producing my first – my first show I’m at the Stage Left Theater, and it is going to be production of Leroy Jones’s Dutchman, which was originally produced back in 1964. And it’s basically a social commentary piece on the social restrictions and prejudice and harsh realities that black Americans have to face in a colonized world where they’re expected, you know, to act and behave in a certain manner.And so I – it’s, it’s a really big step for me, both as an artist and as an individual, because I am by nature, fairly shy, very, fairly quiet passive person.

 

And so when I went to the protest here in Spokane, down at the courthouse, I think it was two weekends ago, it felt, it felt nice to be part of it, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t uncomfortable for more than just the fact that, you know, being in such a large group of people with – with so much police brutality being sort of the focal point of media right now, but also you know, with the fear of COVID still very prevalent in our society and our community. And so I needed to find an alternative way to help the cause without putting myself or other people in danger. And so just as a young adult, I feel like it’s a really big step for me. And – it just makes me feel, looking back on looking back on that video, you know, how far I’ve come intellectually and emotionally, and just as… just as a human being. So not to toot my own horn, but I’m kind of proud of myself. So yeah.

 

Nathan: 

You have every reason to be so proud of yourself and, you know, through your own horn, as much as you want.

 

Mathias: 

I’m really happy to connect back with you all and I’m really excited to see more on, you know, where all of the other stories landed.

 

My life is really just theater. So beyond that, I’m very boring, so I think… I think that’ll do it for Mathias Oliver. Check back in with me another 10 years and hopefully I’ll have something else for you.

 

Nathan: 

It’s so good to see you again. And thanks for taking the time to catch up with us. It’s totally up to you, but if you want people might be having more questions for you in the comments. So check back periodically and let people, you know, answer some of those questions. So, thanks again, Matthias. It was great seeing you. And if anyone wants to hear more stories they’re available on our website, imfromdriftwood.org or our Instagram or Facebook. And again, feel free to leave comments and Matthias will check back to answer them. Thanks for watching.