Coming out to her was easy. But for her to accept who I am, was not.
The first time I met her, I couldn’t recognize her as one of my classmates in school. She just waved at me with that brilliant sunshine smile. Ironically, my first thought was who is this crazy girl.
When I told her I was gay, there was a look of disgust on her face. She couldn’t accept who I am because of her religious teachings and she felt “disgusted.” Those were the words that stuck and are still etched onto my mind. But after a few days, she came and told me, “Chase, I was disgusted when you told me that you are gay, but you have to understand that I came from a place where the word “gay” does not exist, and you are the first gay person that I have ever met, but that does not mean I do not want you to be my friend.”
And that was 5 years ago.
Now, our friendship has blossomed into a wonderful relationship. We stood by each other through birthdays, loneliness, breakups, my coming out. Just 2 weeks ago, I brought my boyfriend to her place and introduced him to her parents, it’s like introducing my boyfriend to an extended family. But it hasn’t always been smooth sailing. Arguments still occur, big fights still happen. Her religious views still stand firm, and my advocacy views on gay rights do not waver. But in the end, she loves me for who I am as a person, and according to her, being gay is just part of me, it does not totally define who I am as a person, and her love for me is for Chase, and not for a gay boy.
She’s not your typical fag hag. She’s just someone who will pick me up from a gay club when I am drunk, talk to me on the phone when I am being left alone, defend my integrity, my rights, my character in my absence. Someone who will go shopping with me, tells me I look ugly today, check out cute boys with me, willingly be dragged along to check out dates with. She will always be ready to pick me up when I fall, and throw the confetti when we celebrate. She’s my best friend, Genevieve.
In the end, if there are friends who loved you, they will love you for who you are. They will celebrate your strengths and embrace the flaws.
Thank you, Gen.
I’m From Santa Ana, CA. “Already sitting there and trying to give Klara some water, the designated driver seems glad to see me but she feels she has to hide it: I should be back there clubbing and making out with cute boys and this night was for me and I should go back and enjoy myself – blah blah blah – so why the hell am I here and not there? Because us girls gotta stick together.”
I’m From Singapore. “While in a car with 2 co-workers of mine, one of them brought up the topic of “cheating on the wife.” The next statement perturbed me greatly even though I did not show it, I was internally conflicted. “It is fine if you ogle at girls when you’re married, or heck, even go for the occasional one night stand. But as a guy, if you do not lust for the “bust”, you’ve crossed over to the disgusting gay side and there’s nothing worse than that.”