“Both of my parents are gay,” usually elicits oohs and ahhs at how easy it must have been to come out. The truth is a little stickier.
My parents both had urges and limited experiences with the same sex when they married and started their life together. Sixteen years and 3 kids later, my father decided to use it against Mom during a nasty divorce. At the time I felt he was an ass for his cruelty but didn’t know about the hypocritical betrayal.
Two years later, I came out to a very supportive friend and family base except for my father. He blocked every discussion about my happiness and dismissed me as being just like my mom, seeking attention and a way to be different and noticed.
A year later, he asked for my support when he decided to come out. At first I could never consider supporting him in any way. That did not disappear as he pathologically rewrote history as the perfect father.
At 32, I have settled into a distant friendship with my father and continue being the twinkle in my mother’s eye. Not the blessed path people expect, but such is life.
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