Maybe you’ll be reading this, but probably not. I still remember what you were wearing when we first met. We were at a party and a mutual friend wanted us to meet. You walked up in your green mogwai t-shirt. You had a sweet smile and sincere look in your eyes. We seemed to hit it off and you seemed to actually be interested in what I had to say. Sadly, your workplace was having layoffs and you were about to be without a job. Thankfully I was able to get you a job where I worked. I think that was one of many of places in which lines got blurred. You went from man of interest to co-worker to employee. I considered turning down that promotion because I knew a boss/employee work relationship would interfere with any outside personal interests I hoped we could share. I know that we both used that as an excuse to push each other away when the real reason was we both still had feelings for other guys (whose arms we were always guilty of running back to).
You have to admit though, you found it fun to make out on the conference room table and our text messages back and forth throughout the work day made things more interesting. We continued to mess around and always found reasons as to why things wouldn’t work out. Yet it seems like we always reconnected when the other needed it most. We became that comfort zone that we were initially guilty of running away to. As opposed to moving forward, we continually ran back to each other. In your last response, you ended with “maybe we just aren’t meant to be friends.” Maybe that is the case. We both made our mistakes: I never listened to your requests and you were never completely honest with me. I know we had what seems like a three year cycle of ups and downs, but to me it was all worth it for the good times we did have. I was always happiest waking up in your arms. You will always hold a special place in my heart. I guess this time it will be different. I will listen to your request for space and not send this to you. I hope you know you are a great guy. I should have told you this sooner.