I am a bisexual woman married to a man. Decidedly the easiest thing to be in the LGBT spectrum, and yet, I am more confused about how to (and even if I should) come out.
My husband is fully aware and has been since we were sophomores in college and just friends. My brother knows, and I think my parents always suspected. But really. I’m 36 and a mother of two. Does anyone even care?
I usually identify myself as a straight ally when it comes to Pride events and the like. My reasoning is that I really haven’t experienced what others have. I never encountered bigotry personally, and my family could blend in with a Mormon congregation as easily as we do in our Open and Affirming UCC congregation.
Do I even have the right to wear the label “bisexual” anymore?
I continue my participation in the work for gay rights, mostly for the sake of others, and for the sake of justice. But who knows what is in store for me? My husband is my best friend and the love of my life, but if (God forbid) he meets with an untimely death, I may find myself alone. Then I may find love again. And it may be with a woman.
Of course, I am afraid as well. Will my voice of advocacy carry as much weight to the public if I am “one of them?” Will members of the LGBT community roll their eyes at me and write me off as a college lesbian? Will my job as a daycare teacher be threatened? Will my kids be confused?
I’m not sure there is an answer. Right now I feel like I’m in the closet, but the door is open, and I’m peeking out. That’s where I need to be right now.