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My name is Sam Franklin and I’m from Princeton Junction, New Jersey.

The first Valentine’s Day I remember, like celebrating or whatever with a guy, he actually wrapped up a copy of Ender’s Game or something like that, I don’t even know what that book’s about because I refused to read it. That must have been when I was like 15. When I was 16, I had this situation with this guy who was in this Catholic school, dating a girl and I got upset because she got priority over me.

Then there was this time where I went to the casino where I was almost controlled into a Valentine’s Day and ended up in Atlantic City.

A couple boyfriends, I could just send them flowers because they were the type of people that liked receiving flowers. I’m not that type of person.

A couple Valentine’s Days I was single, and I realized every Valentine’s Day I was single, I ended up dating someone the weekend after. Like, I always ended up in some sort of crash-and-burn relationship. Usually it would last about two months.

I think last Valentine’s Day was probably my worst one. My boyfriend and I had decided to go to this thing on the ice skating rink on the water. Some people that we knew from Penn were organizing this kind of bunch of queer people invading this kind of soft rock Valentine’s Day thing where we were all going to show up and go ice skating as gay couples. We ended up getting down there and we couldn’t get in because all the tickets were sold out. And we were trying to get in touch with people. And anyway, no one told us that no one else was going, and we had ended up going like 50 blocks down there and it was a little bit rainy and at that point I didn’t really want to go; he had to fly to Texas the next day. And I had a headache and really had to pee and we ended up walking around Queen Village for at least like an hour and a half and I was like I just want to go home. And I remember we had talked earlier about that ’30 Rock’ episode with Salma Hayek and how they go and get McFlurries on Valentine’s Day, and I was like, “All I want on Valentine’s Day was a fucking McFlurry” and I had to put up with all this bullshit. So it was no McFlurry, all this shit downtown, 50 blocks away and then driving him–and no sex–and driving him to the airport, I was like, this totally sucks. Which, I’ve never had a good Valentine’s Day, but this year I just want a McFlurry and sex with no leaving our neighborhood.

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