At the age of 19, Rick Clemons came out of the closet. After soon realizing it wasn’t the right time for him, he went back into the closet for 19 more years. Rick explains:

I was not strong enough in myself at that point in time in my life to be who I really wanted to be. And now that I can sit and reflect back on that, it was all for a very powerful purpose.

That powerful purpose being getting married and having two kids. After a work trip to London, though, an event took place that sparked the next chapter of Rick’s life.

I went out to the gay bars for the first time, by myself. This absolutely handsome lovely Brit walked up to me and started conversation. Within four hours we did end up back at his hotel. I remember walking out of the lovely hotel he was staying at, I was so messed up in a beautiful way because the sun was brighter, the thoughts I had were clearer, the gait in my step was just so powerful.

Upon arriving back home to California, Rick knew it was time to start living an open and honest life and come out a second time, this time to his wife and two daughters. The decision wasn’t just best for him, but for those closest to him as well.

At the end of the day, the truth comes down to what’s good for you, what’s going to make you the best possible person you can be in your own life, because when that happens, you can be the best possible person you need to be for other people in their lives.

Continue Reading to watch Rick’s story.

NOTE: Rick has used his unique personal story to help others. As The Coming Out Coach, he helps teens and adults come out when the time is right for them.

TRANSCRIPT:

I’m Rick Clemens and I’m from Riverside, California. I was 38 years old when I came out of the closet for the second time. The first time I actually came out of the closet I was 19. I went off to college and I’d always had these inner rumblings I guess that would be the best way to describe it, I knew I was different. Totally different. I was not strong enough in myself at that point in time in my life to be who I really wanted to be. And now that I can sit and reflect back on that, it was all for a very powerful purpose.

Literally within the year that I graduated I had this beautiful loving woman who would become my wife, came into my life. There was a deep soul connection, deep deep, even to this day, still deep. I realized ooh, I’ll do this, I’ll make this work. I was pretending. And at 38 years old suddenly things began to unravel. I traveled for work a lot. That’s part of how I stepped out of my shell and became the other person that I was. It was easy to be in New York or London or wherever, who was going to know what’s going on. Until one night in London, I went out to the gay bars for the first time, by myself. This absolutely handsome lovely Brit walked up to me and started conversation. Within four hours we did end up back at his hotel. I remember walking out of the lovely hotel he was staying at, I was so messed up in a beautiful way because the sun was brighter, the thoughts I had were clearer, the gait in my step was just so powerful. Two days later we both left. I got on a plane from London to LAX. I got off that plane and called my wife and said “I’m down, and I’ll be home soon, and as soon as I get home we’ve gotta talk.”

My youngest was nine months old. My oldest was three and a half. I told her, I said, “I’m gay, and I met somebody.” The reaction immediately was shock, anger. I always laugh when I say this part it’s not because it was funny but it is kinda ironic the thing I thought she would be most upset about was me being gay. It wasn’t. She was pissed off that I had cheated on her. I left within twenty-four hours. I was about to not be a father. I was about to not be a husband. I was about to be everything I’d always wanted to be which was myself, but yet I was about to leave everything I’d thought I was supposed to be. I did leave, we had our issues and our trials and tribulations through it all. As I finally started to get through this and as the years started to roll by, the calmness started to come over our family unit.

At the end of the day, the truth comes down to what’s good for you, what’s going to make you the best possible person you can be in your own life, because when that happens, you can be the best possible person you need to be for other people in their lives. I know today, because of that, that’s why I’m blessed to have a still beautiful relationship with my ex-wife. That’s why today, since I’ve come out of the closet, there’s been very few days that I haven’t got to see my kids. And I know that today, that’s why I’m still alive, because I wasn’t meant to come out at 19, I was meant to come out at 38. I was meant to do this at a time when it was time for me to be going through this experience. It was happening because this is what was meant to happen.