My name is RoxAnne Moore. I live in Grand Forks. I’ve lived here most of my life. We have two kids. Cory is an FTM transgender, was born Michelle Lynn Moore, approximately five years ago began to transition as a male.
When people meet us now they always tell us that we seem so awesome and that we seem so accepting. I would be the first to tell you that its not been easy. Both of us were raised Catholic and have lived in the Midwest, small town Midwest, where assumed heterosexuality is the norm. So when Shelly first came out to us as a lesbian it was very difficult for us. It brought me up short, because I always thought I was this really open minded accepting person and I watched Oprah shows and Phil Donahue shows on gay people and I thought “that’s fine.” What I didn’t realize is it was fine with me, but just not my kid, at first, and that brought me up real short.
So we got involved in PFLAG and I did a lot of reading, self educating. The one thing that never did waiver is I never stopped loving my child. That was my child. I had a problem with the homosexuality at first, just because of my background teachings. And I’m somewhat ashamed to admit that but Cory always tells me I’m really hard on myself, that there’s horror stories out there compared to (ours). It was difficult.
The first relationship that Cory was in we were going on a little vacation to the lake and we had this go around on the phone. He wanted, she wanted, it’s difficult, because it’s he now, but it was she at that time. Wanted to bring Donna and I said fine, but I don’t want to see any open displays of affection and then Cory came back with, “Well, that’s not who I am, that’s not who I was raised to be.” I said okay, I said I’m just not ready for that! I said, “Tell you what, daddy and I won’t be affectionate either. How bout that?” We did not even get 3 hours in to our little vacation before I decided – forget it! forget it! forget it! It was too hard and it really taught me the lesson of why should we expect gay people not to be able to express their affection in public when we so easily can do that?
So that was a good lesson learned.